Category Archives: signs

First world problems

Third world problems usually center around a lack of food, clothing, water, or shelter, or possibly all of them. Compounding these lacks, you often have severe pollution and poverty.

First world problems, however, are more nuanced. For example, this sign in a hotel, alerting guests to the fact that the door does not lead to an entrance or an exit to anything interesting, just Employee Stuff:

This door leads to ES: Employee Stuff. It isn't interesting to anyone else, so move along. Note the sign is written in Braille, too. Photo by Lykara Ryder.
This door leads to ES: Employee Stuff. It isn’t interesting to anyone else, so move along. Note the sign is written in Braille, too. Photo by Lykara Ryder.

Fire hydrants aren’t all that exciting in the first world, but this one is at least different. It is orange instead of red, and it has an Out Of Service sign. Of particular interest: this is a professionally crafted sign, not some temporary thing taped to the hydrant, suggesting that hydrants, much like buses during rush hour on busy routes, are routinely Out Of Service:

Bright orange (orange is the new red?) fire hydrant, prominently saying that it is Out Of Service. Who knew hydrants went off duty? Photo by Lykara Ryder.
Bright orange (orange is the new red?) fire hydrant, prominently saying that it is Out Of Service. Who knew hydrants went off duty? Photo by Lykara Ryder.

Finally, there is this park bench, near the Capitol in Washington, DC. This isn’t just any old park bench, but a solar-powered park bench. And why would a park bench need to be solar-powered? Because it is a park bench with two USB charging ports!

Soofa Bench is a solar-powered park bench. It has space for three people, and can recharge two USB phones at once. It is "made of sustainably harvested materials and built in the United States." Photo by Lykara Ryder.
Soofa Bench is a solar-powered park bench. It has space for three people, and can recharge two USB phones at once. It is “made of sustainably harvested materials and built in the United States.” Photo by Lykara Ryder.

It was crafted by Changing Environments, an MIT Media Lab spin-off that took a look at how technology could improve urban living. The Soofa Bench comes in various versions, some of which also include environmental monitoring sensors, powered by the solar panels on the bench. Also available are a Soofa Core, which is essentially the central pillar without the bench, and a Soofa Sign, a solar-powered, stand-alone neighborhood electronic bulletin board.

Why the company uses the Colombia domain (.co) and why things are called “Soofa” are not readily apparent.

Contains fish

Ikea sells furniture. Ikea has a restaurant, and it sells salmon fillets. The fillets contain fish.

Salmon fillet contains fish warning at Ikea.
Salmon fillet contains fish warning at Ikea.

Consider yourself warned.

Adventures in shopping II

Commerce is a human-created ecology, mutating over time to fit niches. Even absurd niches.

Possibly because I don’t like mayonnaise, I see no reason for tiny 1.8 ounce glass jars of mayonnaise, though the Dijon mustard tempted me.

Commercial evolution and miniature mayonnaise and mustard jars are now a reality. Heaven help us all.
Commercial evolution and miniature mayonnaise and mustard jars are now a reality. Heaven help us all.

Janis Ian has a wonderful song, Play Like a Girl, that states emphatically yes, girls should play like girls, and that is just fine.

This shirt, promoting (if commercially) breast cancer awareness month, also points out that girls must fight like girls, too. It is a gender-specific battle, but a battle for humanity.

Sweater shirt promoting breast cancer awareness.
Sweater shirt promoting breast cancer awareness.

On the other hand, purple crab cheese balls are probably banned by several international treaties on cruel and unusual weaponry:

Purple crab cheese balls, a presumably acquired taste that has no sane reason for acquisition.
Purple crab cheese balls, a presumably acquired taste that has no sane reason for acquisition. Nearly a pound and a half of them, in fact.

Back on the clothing front, who can resist this culturally deaf offering from Nordstrom?

Fleece Navidad sweater from Nordstrom. It does not appear to be wool.
Fleece Navidad sweater from Nordstrom. It does not appear to be wool.

Or this limited edition, mass-produced, hermetically sealed, gluten-free, artisan-produced, non-genetically modified organism potato chips made with sunflower oil using a time-honored frying process dating back to 1999:

La Abuela Nieves artisan-produced buzzword heavy potato chips.
La Abuela Nieves artisan-produced buzzword heavy potato chips.

To be honest, the chips (or “crisps,” as Brits might call them) were very good.

Back on the Nordie clothing front, if you can’t get into an Ivy League school, you can have your revenge by wearing a school-style sweatshirt honoring a bitter member of the cabbage family.

Kale, the Ivy League bitter cabbage substitute for lettuce.
Kale, the Ivy League bitter cabbage substitute for lettuce.

Finally, a Christmas tree with a star on the top and a snowman with top hat:

Coke Christmas tree and snowman.
Coke Christmas tree and snowman.

Out of order: coming soon!

This is allegedly a check-in kiosk, allowing you to get a personal, human touch from a machine and not one of those impersonal people. Unfortunately, it would not let you check in.

Several things are of interest:

  • While laser printers abound in this particular clinic, and white paper is readily apparent, the message taped to the front of the screen is on yellow paper, and written in both ink and either lipstick or crayon.
  • The hand-written message, written by two different writers, claims that it is both “Coming Soon!” and “THIS IS OUT OF ORDER Don’t Use,” suggesting that coming soon the kiosk would be out of order.
  • Or maybe that should be reversed, and that it is currently out of order, and something else — order? — will soon be coming.
  • The nameplate at the bottom says the kiosk was made by Vecna Medical, and their registered slogan is “Better Technology. Better World.” Better technology than human receptionists? Than hand-written signs? And are we talking about this particular world, or some other world?
Out of order, coming soon. Or possibly Better Technology. Better World, because the world is better handled with hand-written signs.
Out of order, coming soon. Or possibly Better Technology. Better World, because the world is better handled with hand-written signs.

One more question: why is the kiosk turned on if it is not working?