{"id":1025,"date":"2016-08-08T23:01:21","date_gmt":"2016-08-09T03:01:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kljcharters.com\/blog\/?p=1025"},"modified":"2016-09-03T23:46:36","modified_gmt":"2016-09-04T03:46:36","slug":"narrative-arc-of-plumbing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kljcharters.com\/blog\/narrative-arc-of-plumbing\/","title":{"rendered":"Narrative arc of plumbing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Much has been written about how writers plumb the very depths of their souls in an attempt to construct a narrative. But far less attention has been devoted to the narrative arc of plumbing.<\/p>\n

You might say, “But plumbing is just plumbing! It’s just pipes and valves and water, governed by gravity, and about as interesting as plumbing!” But — that is no longer true. Modern plumbing is\u00a0modern.<\/em> Not only is it modern, it is even\u00a0computerized<\/em>, which means that, for the first time, plumbing can even crash<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But can plumbing communicate? When you move to rinse your hands, and the automatic soap dispenser dispenses soap onto the back of your hand, necessitating another rinse, and prompting more soap to be sprayed on the back of your hand, is this the first stage of a robotic rebellion? When you wave your hands around, attempting to trigger a flow of water (and incidentally looking like an idiot to anyone who might see\u00a0you), is this proof that we have not only lost control of our senses, but also over the fundamentals of toiletry, learned long ago as toddlers?<\/p>\n

Yet for all the frustrations that this new, improved plumbing might have to offer, it has lacked, except for the occasional odd, plaintive beep, any identifiable means of communication. Until this year, that is, when, with the help of Post-It notes, plumbing attempted communication.<\/p>\n

The first note was fairly simple and to the point: “NOT WORKING.” It wasn’t immediately clear if this indicated a failure or a labor stoppage, but in any case, it was descriptive, and accurate.<\/p>\n

Note: you can click on any photo for a larger view.<\/em><\/p>\n

\""Not<\/a>
“Not working.” A simple statement indicating either a labor stoppage or a functional failure.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You might quibble over the phrase “labor stoppage,” as it isn’t clear that plumbing can perform labor. However, since plumbing transports water and waste, and most of us would prefer not to do that, it is reasonable to conclude that work is being performed, and therefore, it can be generalized as labor.<\/p>\n

A few days later\u00a0the communication took\u00a0an intriguing turn:<\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>
An additional Post-It note clarifies the original message of “Not working,” expanding it to “Still Not Working.” Yet there is some doubt of intent, as this could mean a continued work stoppage rather than a functional failure.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The addition of the word “STILL” makes it increasingly unlikely that the plumbing is on strike. It isn’t entirely free of ambiguity, but as the sink hasn’t been functional for several days at this point, there is evidence of a catastrophe in progress.<\/p>\n

The next day a new note, “HAS BEEN REPORTED TO FACILITIES,” suggests an escalation, either an attempt at negotiating an end to the strike or, more likely, a realization that the failure is beyond the plumbing’s power to overcome without assistance. It is gratifying to see that\u00a0humans still have a role to play.<\/p>\n

\""Has<\/a>
“Has Been Reported To Facilities.” Either the plumbing is attempting to negotiate a work stoppage with Facilities or, as it now seems likely, there is a functional failure and this is a plea for help.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

But the next day\u00a0the narrative arc erupts into an actual arc, drawn across four additional Post-It notes. At the apex, a simple “And yet!!”<\/p>\n

Several things should be noted at this point:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Every Post-It note is a different color or shade.<\/li>\n
  2. The first note was done with a marking pen, the latter ones with a regular pen.<\/li>\n
  3. The first three notes were all upper-case block letters.<\/li>\n
  4. The fourth note not only\u00a0featured upper\u00a0and<\/em> lower case letters, but also punctuation, and the somewhat crude but still recognizable arc, complete with a subtle arrowhead at\u00a0the end.<\/li>\n
  5. The tone has changed from a plain\u00a0declarative sentence, to a somewhat desperate plea, then moving to\u00a0a very specific attempt to contact a particular group of people, and finally on to pure\u00a0sarcasm.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    \"It<\/a>
    It is now clear that this is an on-going plumbing disaster, with the plumbing going beyond simple pleas for help and resorting to sarcasm.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    There are courses that teach you how to build a narrative arc<\/a>, yet this commonplace\u00a0plumbing, in a rather mundane commercial building, mastered the basics over little more than a week during one brutally hot summer month. At this rate, more advanced plumbing devices — say, a dish washer or clothes washer — may soon be churning out literature that scrubs\u00a0away our preconceived notions of narrative flow. Complete with a rinse cycle.<\/p>\n

    Update<\/h3>\n

    Maintenance did come by but their major activity was to remove the Post-It notes. The sink, undeterred, started a Faucet Aid charity solicitation: “Give generously so that unfortunate plumbing can once again experience improved hydrostatic pressure and flow. If it was good enough for farmers, it should be good enough for plumbing. Donate now: http:\/\/fixtheflow.org.”<\/p>\n

    \"Faucet<\/a>
    Faucet Aid, akin to Farm Aid, seeks to increase awareness of the plight of poor, broken plumbing and raise funds for their support and repair.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    Update again<\/h3>\n

    Maintenance did not take kindly to the Faucet Aid charity, so the sink turned to donations from colleagues.<\/p>\n

    “Annual Leave Donation Request. Please help Sink #1 with a leave donation. Sink #1 has been out of work for some serious plumbing deficiencies for over a month. It has used up all of its annual leave. Thank you for your kind donations!”<\/p>\n

    \"In<\/a>
    In a major, bitter bout of ridicule, the sink sinks to new lows with display of a diploma in dust gathering.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    Update yet again<\/h3>\n

    Maintenance once again removed all the notes — except the ever-present “Not Working” Post-It.<\/p>\n

    The sink’s spirits seem to have sunk to new lows, with the posting of a “Certificate Sinkus Deadus. This Certifies that Sink Sank Sunk Has successfully completed all requirements and qualifications for the Master of Arts in Dust Gathering.” Signed August 18, 2016, by Dri Gulch, PhD.<\/p>\n

    \"Sink<\/a>
    Sink #1 requests annual leave donations to help offset the financial burdens of being out of work.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    Final update<\/h3>\n

    Shortly after the certificate posting, the sink was repaired and all signs, Post-It notes, and other messages were removed. It took over a month.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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